Seagrams vs Stocker - advantage, Seagrams

This day started like many days did when I lived in the Castle of Corruption. It usually involved walking in the door from work, hungover, and looking for the nearest bottle of booze to cure it.

A dash to the kitchen reveals I am *gasp* out of liquor. To many people this would not be that big of an ordeal. But in this house it is unheard of. 3 single guys living in a 3 story house with enough drugs and booze in it at any given moment to supply most rockstar's party habits.

You know how when people go out with intent to get boozed and or drugged up beyond all belief they use the phrase
"tonight I'm going to party like a rockstar"?
Well when rockstar's go out they use the phrase;
"tonight I'm going to party like Siwel".

It's true. Call Courtney Love, she will tell you.

Anyhow,
A trip to the local liquor store "north end market" reveals Seagrams 7 is on sale. The big, big bottle is just $11 and some change. With prices like this I couldnt afford NOT to buy it.

I return to the humble abode to find my room-mate Stock sitting in the livingroom. He has had a long day at work and grins as I walk in cradling my brown paperbagged bundle of joy. I yell at him "Hey Stock! Wana split a botle of 7?!" He glares at me in a way that an Etheopian glares at a Happymeal. He knows it is going to be one of those nights.

Two super big gulp cups of ice and 7 topped off with a little gingerale and the race is on. We start social drinking which quickly turns into all out gulping. We divvy up the remainder of the bottle between the both of us and top it off once again with gingerale. Our 3rd room-mate SanJuan walks in to witness this event. "Allright!" he says as he walks by seeing us in our pre-drunken stupor.

Many people can be totally content to sit at home and drink, but they reach a certain point of drunkeness they feel the need to go out and mingle amongst people so as not to hide any alcohol influenced wisdom which they posess. They also feel the rest of the public should be made aware of this knowledge. We are no exception.

SanJuan drives us to the Bdubs.
(this is Siwel pre-ban from bdubs time)
We walk in happily holding our super big gulps which are now only about 1/4 filled with melted ice resulting in a watered down mix of cheap whiskey and gingerale. I feel the need to show my cup of glory to everyone I come in contact with. I tell them the tale of 2 men who conquored the allmighty bottle of 7 and still live to tell about it. It is my belief that people are overly impressed with me and my tale.
(in reality I am sure they were not)

Super big gulp is cashed. I now turn to Jagerbombs chased by 23oz draft beer. Stock is drunk, I am drunk, SanJuan is drunk.
(not sure what SanJuan was drinking, I was too busy mingling with people who probably did not want to talk to me or hear about my tale)

As I wander to the pooltable to talk to some unsuspecting whores I hear a commotion behind me twards the bar. I turn around to see Stock passed out head down on the table, still holding his beer. SanJuan has somehow made his way up and is now standing atop his barstool at the table. He unzips his pants and begins the process of pulling out his weapon of destruction so that he may releive himself on the head of passed out Stock.

This undoubtedly gains the attention of everyone in the bar, as well as bartenders. They grab him and pull him off of the barstool which he once stood atop. In this commotion Stock awakens, unsuspecting to the previous occurance then passes right back out.

It is decided this bar scene is dead. It is guys night at "Big Al's" which means free booze for the guys. Game on!

We help Stock to the Jeep where it is decided we are totally fine to drive. Infact we are so fine to drive I am amazed SanJuan did not put us into a ditch or kill us. Somewhere in this smooth riding experience Stock feels the need to get a good look at his previous drink by regurgitating it out of the window and onto the side of the jeep. We do not stop, we are on a mission to the bar, Stock can just enjoy the ride as his head hangs out the window like a dog. Maybe the wind will do him good.

Stock is passed out, we decide it best to leave him in the car and go consume more alcohol.
Inside the bar is filled with the usual. A few people I knew and liked, a few girls I didnt mind takling to, a few cops who I hated, and a bunch of whores.

Somehow I wind up playing pool with this cop who I didnt like who was dating a friend of mine. I am highly intoxicated at this point however, so I like him. With him is a whore who was also a friend of mine. He is laying game to her, he see's his chances are high but is worried about my presence ruining his homelife if I was to ratt his actions out to his gf. Me being highly intoxicated atthe time assure him I would not ratt him out, and that I had allways thought he was a cool guy an bla bla. The whore asked him and me repeatidly what happened to his gf, an why they broke up. (typical story to tell a girl, youre broke up or on a break).

I find that it is now closing time. I make a dash to the bar to attempt to purchase a case of beer. My wishes are granted and away I walk with the most expensive case of beer in history. I have also however passed the drunken stage where I am nice and like everyone. I now realise everyone sucks and I feel the need to tell them. As I walk out I tell the whore that the cop is infact still with his gf, has been lying to her all night, and that I had just txt msg his gf telling her of the nights events. She is unpleased.

Somehow I make it to the Jeep where Stock is still passed out. I decide it best to get in and close the door before the cop comes outside and hears of my latest actions. SanJuan reached the drivers seat and off we go. I am now chugging beer as fast as humanly possible so that I will be left with empty bottles to throw at street signs. I only finish two.

For some reason even though the path from the bar to our house was straight, it seems to allways have a detour in it at about 3am which involves driving through the 24hrs Hardee's drive-thru. I immediatley find out how much they do not appreciate it when you order things that are not on the menu such as a Big-Mac or a large pizza. They spit in our food, hand it to us, and off we go.
(I can only assume the spit part, but I am very sure of it even though I had not witnessed it)

Home. I am not real sure what happened here.
I remember getting home and walking upstairs to my bedroom but that's it. I woke up at around 11pm the next day with lettuce and Hardee's wrappers in my bed and my cellphone with about 10 missed calls and countles txt msg's.


Im a mean drunk