The now famous ski trip story

Siwel takes on the slopes


In a drunken haze one night at a local bar, which bar it was kind of evades me, me and a few of my fellow drunkard’s decided what a smash up idea going on a ski trip would be. Now keep in mind yea I used to snowboard a lot when I was younger but I’m not younger. The older you get it seems, the longer it take’s one to heal from injury. Keeping that in mind, but totally ignoring it, we set out to make some reservations.

Now if you will remember right my last ski trip I tried to kill myself without having ever left the lodge/bar. This is also the event in my head which keep’s reminding me of how long pain now seems to last. The memory was then pushed to the side once I remembered how easily I could obtain pain medication since I was currently sleeping with a doctors daughter. With the fear of once again being severely hurt an non able to walk now gone.. GAME ON!

Over the next few weeks our group of willing participant’s grew rather rapidly and largely. To this day I still probably could not tell you how many people went but I do know it was a lot more than what we were supposed to have in our humble lodge.

Day 1.
In a drunken haze I awaken to my alarm going off.
GAB is supposed to be at my pad around 7am so we can get this show on the road. Knowing this I ponder why I set my alarm for 5am. Almost instantly it hit’s me, I had not done my laundry or packed anything yesterday because it was more important to go get drunk. I set my alarm early so that I may get this feat accomplished. No more than thirty seconds later I am back asleep. My next alarm would come at somewhere around 7:15am in the form of GAB standing above my bed beating me with a pillow yelling “get up you drunk moron”.

I sit up in bed as GAB wanders off to “work the porcelain”.
The moment my feet hit the floor reality strikes. I have about 5 minutes until GAB is done destroying my bathroom. That gives me 5 minutes to get packed. As I rummage through my pile of clothes on the floor I find the semi-clean ones and start stuffing my bag. As I finish up GAB walks in with a “I just peeled the wallpaper off of your walls” look on his face. I grab my ski jacket an my board an off we go.

As I make my way to the Denali I chuckle a little bit as I notice my car parked half on the sidewalk and half in the yard. Wow, it must have been a good night.
Now our buddy Jp was supposed to roll with us but in my frantic run to assemble clothes and such I had forgotten all about him riding with us. As I stumble along to the Denali I open the rear gate and throw my stuff in the back. I make my way to the front and hop in. Immediately I notice Jp in the back passed out cold. It was then that I remembered around 1am that morning when I decided to leave the bar Jp was still there putting down shots and buying drinks for a table of whores.

After an hour or so of attempting to sleep while GAB has listened to every cd he has at a volume level that would deafen people 3 counties over I decided it was time to throw in the towel on getting some rest and locate the cooler. I yell in an attempt to awaken Jp as he is the closest to it but no success. How could he have slept through all of this? After a good beating he awoke with a puzzled where in the hell am I look on his face. As soon as he gathered his thoughts he arose and reached in the back to hand me a cold beverage as well as taking one for himself. This is where Day 1 starts to go downhill.

We make it to check-in and get the keys to our weekend palace.
A few phone calls later the idiot’s arrive. I know this because the level of drunken intensity rises to a new level that had never been reached before. Well, at least not at 11am that is. It seems that I was not the only one riding shotgun who decided to start the drunken festivities early on the car ride here. What can I say, great minds think alike.

We quickly split off into 2 groups. Group 1 consisted of those who are excited about hitting the slopes. Group 2 consisted of those who are excited to hit the lodge and drink. Knowing that we would all wind up at the lodge at some point in time no one disputed this and we set off for our daily adventure. I know what you are thinking, did I join Group 1 or did I join Group 2? Well I did bring my board, what do you think I did? Damn right, I joined Group 2 at the lodge.

After a few hours of nursing a few beers here and there the other group arrives. By this time everyone is hungry, no one is drunk yet, but we are all ready to accomplish both in record time. The lodge is made up of mainly us, only a few random up-tight types are spread throughout the place. They immediately notice the noise level raise as our group size increases. They look displeased.

I wont go into great detail on the lodge scene for Day 1 as it really was nothing out of the ordinary. Excessive drinking, verbal abuse, dancing on tables, and failed attempts at trying to fornicate with some locals. You know, the usual.

We all disperse back to our palace as we have the fridge full of beer, freezer full of liquor, a hot tub, and a couple local girls with us who appeared to have low self-esteem. By this point we are all pretty well drunk, but not “shit holed” drunk yet. We wander into the palace and I grab me a beer while everyone else grabs the beverage of their liking. GAB takes one of the locals to the hot tub while the rest of us are sitting around watching tv and bullshitting. I tell my tale of the last ski trip I took part in, and how Super-D took a header trying to snowboard off of the roof. Little did I know this would for some reason inspire Jp’s attempt to pull off the stunt that Super-D failed at.

I don’t know how much you know about snowboards, or hot tubs for that matter, but let me tell you this. You can’t successfully ride a snowboard bare foot, and hot tubs are only a few feet deep. Now with that in mind let me direct you to GAB who was dripping wet standing in his boxers yelling for us to come outside. We make our way out to see nothing more than the local standing there wet, in her panties, with no top on. Instantly we are wondering why GAB has asked us to view this, but ask no questions. It then became obvious that the local is not why he had called us outside rather it was the fact that Jp was on the roof, holding his board, bellowing out something about “wipeout”. About that time he throws his board down, jumps on it, it slips out from under him instantaneously and glides off of the roof and into the hot tub. Jp rolls off of the roof lands on the porch. Dumb ass.

The rest of the night involved the usual chatter and talk about how awesome it would have been had Jp pulled his stunt off. Jp is now the hero of the palace, he is also the drunk idiot of the palace, I am now getting no attention as all talk is of Jp and his fearless act. This displeases me.



Day 2.
This day starts out at the crack of oh, 10am.
I decide instead of drinking myself into a coma perhaps I should actually hit the half pipe. I yell at GAB and he agrees. Off we go. A few hours and a few biffs later we are instant hits on the half pipe. I don’t know if it was the sick stunts we were trying or the way in which we failed miserably doing them that caught the attention of many spectators but either way we had all eyes on us. This brings us to beer time to the lodge and the hunt for the rest of our group. By now it’s around 1pm and we locate some of the group skiing while the rest are in the lodge. I take a seat at the bar and order us a round of beer and jager bombs. This gets the party started.

I have entered the state of drunk where I am now making friends with everyone. I am wandering around the lodge talking to everyone whether they know me or even if they want to talk to me or not. The conversation turns to Jp’s stunt from the night before which impresses some locals. Jp is now the center of attention once again and an instant hit with a group of girls who had somehow joined our party. It is obvious to me that I am no longer the group idiot. This displeases me a great deal.

As I ponder outside a lodge window I notice the barn where they keep the staffs snowmobiles. It has a snow drift up the side to the roof. Instantaneously genius strikes. I make an announcement that I am going on one last run then back to the lodge to continue my drunken escapade. A few people from the group find this as a good idea as well. We do a round of flaming dr. peppers in cheers to this idea.

We make our way to the lifts and up the hill. I look down wondering how long it will take me to heal up from this event. Instantly the jager starts talking back to me telling me that I need not worry about healing for I shall not get hurt. I realize how true this is and begin my descent down the slope. The lodge is at the end of the slope of my choosing which makes perfect sense being the barn is a few hundred feet away from the lodge. As I make my break creating a path to the barn it hits me. What if the drift going up the side of the barn is soft snow? Am I going to just go through it and smack into the side of the barn? Oh well too late to back out now. Swoop, I hit it. Up the drift, onto the roof, and off, way off of the roof I go. My landing well, sucked. I landed it or so I thought. Then I took a nice tumble a time or twelve end over end.

I arise from the ground wondering what in the hell just happened and why in the hell I did it. I shake my head a few times and start my walk to the lodge. Instantly I notice the rather large group of people at the end of the slope who had witnessed my spectacular event. I walk through the group getting pats on the back, a lot of compliments on how insanely stupid I am, and the usual things that I have become accustom to hearing. I make my way into the lodge trying to hide the fact that I can barely walk where most of my group had witnessed the event. They are buying me shots, locals are buying me shots, I am instantly the complete center of attention. This pleases me to no end and to celebrate this I get drunk – er.